No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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