he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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