When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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