We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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