we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
