Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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