I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
