Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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