cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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