dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
