i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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