I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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