Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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