Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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