I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
not ubering you a puppy
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