Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize