I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Randomize
