I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
