Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
