strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
