I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize