So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
