the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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