I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
