if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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