come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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