I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
