I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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