I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
