giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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