all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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