Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
