like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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