I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she looked like the before picture.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
