Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
