i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize