I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize