I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
