As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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