He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
