After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
