Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
