We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm really busy with my period
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