Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
