I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
