dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
