69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
