we made out on top of his cat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You're like the curious george of whores
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
