I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
