well I can't set my house on fire every night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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