When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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