I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize