so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
