Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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