it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
