i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
