Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
