I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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