1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
