We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
