Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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